"I had so many missed calls from Kanye today that I had to put my phone on airplane mode. I can’t— I can’t, anymore. I just cannot do this. I couldn’t find the strength to get out of my pajamas this morning. I’ve had three panic attacks since noon. There has to be a way out."
“JAY! Stop the show. I think I forgot to feed my Tamagotchi.”
"fool, if you don’t keep rapping… I’ll hit reset on that shit.”
"George Bush doesn’t care about black people…" -Kanye West
"Jay, this is a Youtube classic. It tops ‘Scarlet Takes’ a Tumble and ‘Charlie Bit My Finger.”
"I’m working on a new track with Suri Cruise. Beyonce wants me to sample some tracks since…Baby blue? Baby shoe? Baby J-Crew? has started to hum. To be honest, Baby View, sounded a little out of tune, but that’s nothing Auto-tune can’t fix. I’m just gonna sample the 'Pop That' track and mix it with 'Dangerously In Love Part II'. Ratchet meets Hood Love, Scientology meets Baptist, that’s the feel I’m going for.”
"Bey, I just got a text from Kanye."
"Don’t open it…"
"He said, ‘Still battling for custody of my inner child. The judges won’t help me, Kim don’t understand, and I need my inner child!’ I’m not responding."
"Look at your phone again, Jay."
“Damn 22 new messages, 8 voicemails, and one poke on facebook?”
"Silly rabbit, the iphone tells people when you read a message. You gon’ learn to listen."
"We hadn’t heard from Ye in about a week, and so we went over to his house— just, you know, just to make sure everything was cool, everything was kosher… No one was home, but, um, we know where he keeps his spare key— it’s underneath the ruby-encrusted jaguar statue on the front porch— and what we found… What we found may change the face of our friendship forever… He even… He even has a Destiny’s Child album up there…"
"…This was waiting for us in our mailbox this morning. And, to us, you know, this is- this is, like, the equivalent of waking up to a motherfuckin’ horse’s head in our bed. Our troubled, treasured Kanye… Slipping through our fingers. We’re losing him… to them…”